Cecilie - My choice

You often dream of what life is going to be. At least I did. I had made plans about high school and dreamt of becoming a hair dresser, but first I was going to live life and be young. Suddenly everything was turned upside down – I was 15 and pregnant!

I had always been like everyone else. Me and my large group of friends had loads of fun, went to parties and enjoyed being in the 10th grade. Summer vacation was coming up, and vi were looking forward to a relaxing summer. Little did I know it wasn’t going to be that easy.

I had an 18 year old boyfriend and we had been together for a while. Sex was a part of our relationship, so I had begun taking birth control pills. Before I started taking the pill my period had always been irregular, but on the pill that was never a problem. So the day I noticed I was late I got nervous.

After five days I decided to take a pregnancy test! I was with my boyfriend, and I was so nervous that I got a stomach ache. He looked at the result first, smiled and said I was pregnant. I don’t really understand why he smiled. I was stunned. What was I going to do? My boyfriend’s smile quickly disappeared. When he finally realized what had happened he was shocked. He disappeared outside and told me he needed some time alone to think.

Over the next few days I was thinking a lot. How could this happen to me? I knew I’d been sloppy with my pills from time to time, but I never thought this would happen to me! I felt I needed to talk with someone. The first person I told was my brother’s wife. I felt like like I could tell her everything, what I was thinking and how I felt, and that she would understand and support me. My brother, on the other hand, was a whole other story.

He got very angry with me and told me a kid would ruin my life, and change all the possibilities laid in front of me. It was disturbing to hear, because I knew there was a lot of truth to what he was saying. At the same time I felt a defiance inside me and I got annoyed at how he was trying to tell me what to do.

My father was one of the last people to know. I was so scared to tell him. In the end I had to man up. He didn’t quite know how to react, so he started pacing back and forth in the living room. I could see that he was disappointed. But he didn’t get as furious as I had feared. And after talking with him for a while he said he would support me regardless of my decision.

My boyfriend and I talked a lot about what we should do. Neither of us had planned on becoming parents. He wanted me to have an abortion, and told me he definitely wasn’t ready to become a father. I was considering adoption, because I felt it was a better option. But adoption was

Jeg og kjæresten snakket mye om hva vi skulle gjøre. Ingen av oss hadde planlagt å bli foreldre. Han ville at jeg skulle ta abort, sa at han absolutt ikke var klar for å bli far. Jeg tenkte litt på adopsjon, syntes det hørtes ut som en bedre løsning. But adoption was out of the question for him. So typical! He didn’t want to be a father himself, but he didn’t want someone else to get the opportunity either. We talked a lot about this, and in the end I was the one who made the decision – my decision.

Sincerely Cecilie, client of Stiftelsen Amathea